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In my early 20s, being passionate about psychology & the science behind human behaviour, I started worked as a Behavioural Research scientist at the Volkswagen Research and Development Headquarters in Germany. We looked into how to improve the human-machine interaction with cars of higher levels of SAE Automation (L2-L4) and how to build trust in new innovation concepts - nudging a change of driving behaviour (from manual to autonomous). In short, I was working towards creating mindset- & behaviour shifts to drive innovation & the usage of future vehicle concepts (i.e. to benefit the profit margin of a million dollar company & in CSR-jargon, of course, "the consumer".).

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I loved it, the research skills I learnt & the innovative environment, but I know this wasn't my purpose. While I was overworking myself in the classical German way, personal experience shook me awake to what truly matters in life. On the outside to society I was thriving, but on the inside I was crumbling. In 2020, my life changed forever when I suddenly lost my world, my mom to cancer within a 6-week span. I went from my job to being her palliative carer, guiding her through the hardest times, until the inevitable hit my family and changed our lives forever - her loss, at the time, was in a way a loss of myself too. ​​

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Times were hard is an understatement. I experienced what true mind-body connection is with my own physical & mental health being as low as it gets in deep grief (there were even points where I could not walk). Days were spent at the hospital and at physio, dealing with an "inexplainable" chronic illness, trips to the graveyard, in rarely any social contact because of Covid, and, on top with overworking myself to burnout in my R&D Job at Volkswagen. (Doctors advice for grievers to function is "to get your mind off things" - plus: if you're sad after 6-months, it's a complicated-grief diagnosis.). 

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Excelling and smiling at my Job, earning awards for a first class thesis  - on the inside though, rock bottom. At some point I was so acutely aware of how self-destructive I was being - an internal shift took me from staring at white walls to "this is not what my mom would want". I developed this newfound mission to not throw away the most precious gift she gave me: my life. I developed this newfound mission, especially with the awareness of the fragility and transience of life: to make the most of it,  to make an impact and to most of all: live on her legacy of being the source of light she was and to the people close to her, still is.

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I quit my job, learned how to be happy again given the circumstances sadly no one can change, went traveling, became fascinated with learning more and more about holistic health  in all corners of the world,  and knew I want to help people not reach the darkness I once experienced / make lifestyle choices preventing the pains of deteriorating health. Even when leaving my job and Germany, I had an inner knowing I want to create something beautiful from the adversity, but not clear how at the time.  

 

The experience forever changed my life and me  - for the worst, but also made me who I am today, including all I aspire to do with this platform.​ I believe what I have experienced is not what defines me - but moreover - now inspires me. Combining what I've learnt in my job, but mostly what I've learnt and seen through experience -

my mission is to help people prioritise their

(1) mental & overall holistic wellbeing &

(2) pouring into their social connections, specifically their relationships with their parents.

 

This forms the two core pillars that define my why and everything I do: 

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(1.) MENTAL WELLBEING - the importance of mindset.

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I want to use my background and personal experience to help people establish a strong mindset that is the basis of engaging in healthy lifestyle choices proactively, not only when there’s already a diagnosis and there are symptoms present. To me, taking care of our mental-wellbeing and being able to self-regulate is the fundament - It's the biggest gift we can give ourselves and others we love, as it determines how we show up in this world on a daily and what we model for generations to come.

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This is how I found Breathwork and Pilates and became a facilitator and teacher of both modalities that are so deeply rooted in mind-body connection. Breathwork as the tool to rewire our subconscious towards supporting us, not working against us. Pilates as movement modality bringing people back to the present, in their bodies in total flow-state and, as it so deeply brought me back to feeling not just externally, but internally strong, in times where I felt the opposite.  

 

It is showing up with compassion and kindness to ourselves proactively on the daily, balancing hard work with self-care, to then be able to care and show compassion and KYNDNESS to others. 
 

2. SOCIAL WELLBEING - the importance of deep social connections. 

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What I've learnt through my journey is that, when we are at our lowest points, it doesn't matter how many self-care agenda points we put into our mornings, or how much we have regularity meditated prior to build mental resilience. I did all this very rigidly prior to hitting the transformative year of 2020.

 

​What truly matters when we hit these points, is who is around. Who you are needed by, who you matter to and who matters to you. It is deep social connection we cultivate and pour into that give life the deepest meaning. I personally would not know what would have been if in deep adversity, me and my dad wouldn't have had each other as our biggest support rocks. It was an urgency to always be there for one another, to not take time for granted that created an even closer bond than we had before. 

 

Thus, it's my mission to remind or help people to cultivate deep meaningful relationships and quality time - while there is time. It's spreading urgency to learn, re-meet our parents as adults and become curious about their life and wisdom - without having to have loss of a parent as a catalyst. 

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This is how The Bond-Method and Bond + (Breathwork + memoir writing coaching) was born. 

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Post losing my mom, I started asking my dad questions that matter, that I wanted to know and developed this awareness around how much I don't know about him even though I was at the time living at home. I ended up gathering over 200 questions from his childhood to now, individualised to his lifeline.  From this, my dad  has ended up cultivating a regular reflective writing practice, writing a 200 page document titled "Our story". A memoir on both of their behalf, writing about the marriage with my mom from his perspective. Through the original questionnaire and my urge to get to know them deeper than ever before, made in deep stages of grief where I realised I have so many unanswered questions I want but can't ask my mom - I've created the best thing I've ever gifted him. It is reflecting and appreciating life, past and present in the now, having the chance to sharing his life lessons and wisdom to me in the present, over a cup of tea or a big document I can read from anywhere in the world and feel close. It is doing all of this now, not when it's too late.

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It took me time to exactly define how I want to create something from my journey and experience, but  my Platform Kynd I'm slowly coming close to it. There is so much I have planned and I can't wait to combine my scientific research background with all I do on here through my upcoming (Msc) Psychology Online Degree. 

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I hope that in any way, 

all I continue to do and learn will in some way,

inspire and help others to prioritise their

wellbeing proactively & their parental relationships.

 

Love, 

Kylie